New merch: I've been asked out dozens of times in my life, and no one has ever used the word 'date.Housewives Seeking Sex Tonight Hungry Montana
Are people really saying this to each other? And it's not clumsy?
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Aren't there far suaver ways to put it? Maybe it's my own bias, but desirable men leave a SLIVER I'm not talking about game-playing, I'm not talking about 'let's hang out' - that shit is lame of ambiguity, don't they? Am I the only one who shudders a little at this advice? Anyway, not a huge deal, but it always baffles me that the primary advice to awkward young men is to ask so awkwardly.
Is this a scene from a romantic comedy you're writing? Using the Can i date you "date" comes with a benefit that Can i date you somewhat-synonymous phrases "go out Yes, that phrasing is comparatively awkward and formal, but Can i date you because you're actually taking the risk and declaring up front that you're romantically interested in the person, versus other phrases which can be misconstrued or misrepresented accidentally or on purpose by either party to mean friendship.
This could totally have been an AskMe Lunch fuck sex girl than a MeTa.
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Can you link to an Can i date you where someone advocates using the word "date" when asking someone out? Askme tends to live in an idealist realm, so the answers given are usually the ones Cqn are probably the best way to say things in the sense that there would be no Can i date you or fritteringbut are not actually how real humans full of awkward feelings actually talk to each other.
These questions are most often about signs and signals and reading the ambiguity and does she like me or is she just friendly and the people involved in them are demonstrating their general inability to read those signs and signals which is why they have turned to AskMe for help.
People who need AskMe's help with that sort of thing are best served by eliminating the ambiguity and just flat out asking. In Toronto in grade 5 it was "going around.
I wouldn't have agreed to if I'd realized it was a date. Yeah, I think Jacquilynne probably has it. Suaveness probably isn't part of the equation if ambiguity is causing so much anxiety.
And no, this would not be an askme.Lady Seeking Casual Sex IA Manawa 51501
Horny Morgan wives There's no problem to be solved, it'd be removed immediately. Yes, this advise is given seemingly constantly. I usually advise saying something like "do you want to hang out? And people Can i date you a lot more comfortable and get better results when they speak in their natural idiom. I get vicarious flop-sweats just picturing someone awkwardly stammering out, "Do you want to go on a d-d-date with me?
I don't know exactly what you are looking for, but I can't date you. Not right now. I just can't. I'm not ready. Not at all. — That's fine with me. The thing is that "do you want to go out/hang out/etc" *is* how you say "go on a date" in the US in "Dating" is an archaic word, and an. 1) Suggest - This involves getting a date by making indirect suggestions. You get them to do what you want by proposing it subtly as an.
I think this came up because of this AskMe. I think using the actual word "date" makes a lot of sense in that scenario, because the person being asked Ladies looking nsa Sage Arkansas 72573 Can i date you someone the asker has been friends with, so using the word "date" makes clear this is not just another friend outing.
The asker is also young and has social anxiety from previous questions. In general I think erring on the side of being yoh forthcoming is a yoj thing, rather than dropping hints and expecting people to pick up on them, so I guess I'm surprised that you're surprised that people are advocating coming right out and calling it a date.
Awkward young men tend to be bad at reading other people and social situations. In my 20s, I always had trouble Can i date you when a women was going out or hanging k with me romantically versus as a friend.
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That situation can lead to unwelcome advances or a failure to make advances that might be welcome. My first "date" with my now-wife was something I thought was a date and she thought was just two new friends hanging out.
She would have gone on a date with me, but didn't know that's what I was trying to do. Bottom line, the sauve guys aren't the ones asking these questions.
In the case where there's genuine confusion, yes, it needs to be gotten around somehow. But using a scripted phrase that sounds right out of "Leave it to Beaver" is going to lead to horrible, awkward embarrassment and humiliation for the asker much more often than not. The most recent example i've seen of this is here. I don't think leaving a sliver of ambiguity would help Can i date you OP, if fate wants to move from "girl who is a friend" to "girlfriend" he's going to have to take datf Can i date you and be more explicit.
Saying let's hang out won't make it clear that he wants a different type of interaction with her. Heh, everyone's Can i date you are well taken. Still, I would say some anxiety over ambiguity in the Hot nude girls West alexandria Ohio phases of dating needs to be tolerated, and this advice, while it might be geared toward the unsuave guys, is making them even a bit less suave.Woman St. Petersburg Florida Hot And Sex
Not a huge deal, just an amused observation. People who are good at giving and interpreting social cues can pull off the ambiguous phrasing, because Can i date you imbue that ambiguous phrasing with clear, unambiguous intent. Think Eddie Izzard. People who are not good at giving or interpreting social cues try to use them anyway, because they're told this is desirable to do, and then they end Cxn in a mire of anxiety and miscommunication and then write a word AskMe. I'm someone who can suss out, with fairly high accuracy, when someone is interested in me non-platonically.
When I've been wrong, it's usually on the side of false negative: I assume no attraction from the other Can i date you, when in fact they are interested. This happens pretty much exclusively because 1 the other person has suppressed all their signal giving out of awkwardness or terror, and 2 oyu did not replace it with verbal clarity, such as using the words "date" or Free nsa sex ad Cambridge or what have you.
If you give me nothing to work with--no recognizable flirting, no verbal cues--no, I will NOT know that you have a crush on me. Because the askme situations are usually time sensitive, it isn't helpful to say, "train yourself Can i date you become a stronger observer and signaler of human intention by next Thursday.
"Would you like to go on a date with me?" | MetaTalk
Speaking as a NZer, 'date' is definitely an imported Americanism. But it's a useful imported Americanism because our subdued deadpan Kiwi nature means we need all the help we can get in matters of Can i date you heart.
But I think the key is that, if a situation is so dire or so confusing that the asker has resorted to AskMe, we are beyond "more often than not. He did. I'm glad I didn't try to be Cwn or coy. It's also worth noting that "suave" is not a universally admired trait. Sincere awkwardness is at least sincere, and almost everyone Can i date you sincerity.
Faux awkwardness by someone who actually is "suave" is the worst though! I agree with this post. I always see Can i date you getting this advice, and then I try to think through my history of asking people out and being asked out, and extremely rarely is the word 'date' ever used between us.
Maybe one in five times daet the drastic most. I think there are other ways to let someone know that it's a date that you're asking them on, when asking them - however, it may be hard to put advice Can i date you replicate it into words.
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I don't find ambiguity desirable, myself. Can i date you "Yes" or "No", please. My husband and I have argued about that in the past about non-romantic issues. If one of them said we should "go out" and I was still Can i date you, I would not think they were asking me on a date. I would, in fact, recruit others to come along. I don't think I've ever asked a dating question but I've certainly read a whole bunch of them here.
Because of the general advice to be direct and unambiguous it's convinced me to Gumbys pizza Waterlooville fl looking for much more direct and unambiguous, and it's made my dating life heaps easier and more fun. So now I answer lots of dating questions Can i date you tell people to be direct and unambiguous.
Maybe you don't find it desirable when people say "hi I like you and I would like us to go out on a date" but I do. And the dudes I date sure as fuck think it's desirable when I do it. Go ahead and be baffled all you want. Maybe things have changed dramatically in the past decade, but when I was single, "hang out" was super ambiguous and often meant "yeah we'll probably make out at some point but this isn't, like, Can i date you dating thing.
A lot of people send super-vague signals when they're interested in someone, and a lot of people are oblivious to signals.
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aCn Better to be obvious. But if you're really smooth, you don't need this advice in the first place, and you probably don't get stuck in are-we-dating-or-not limbo. Besides, suaveness is overrated. It makes for Cab dates or hangouts or whatever it's called when the kids make out on my lawnbut doesn't have a ton of use in a long-term relationship. With both my current boyfriend and my Bbw women Myaungthit, the explicit use of the word 'date' was what signaled from me in the first Can i date you, to me in the latter the shift to romantic interest in a clear Can i date you unambiguous way.
In fact, every potentially romantic thing I've been on in probably the last ten years explicitly used the word date, unless we'd already made our feelings known Can i date you some other way.
I have not infrequently clarified by asking "Do you mean hang out, or a date?
Yeah, see, I've been on the receiving end of that question. And then been rather astonished when Dating oral sex dude who I was only interested in platonically tried to get all up in my business.
Can i date you awkward and unpleasant for everyone.
Much better to have any awkwardness dealt with beforehand than after someone going in for a kiss and being rebuffed. Can i date you, it sucks to turn someone down if they ask you on a date; nobody likes inflicting that sort of hurt on others.Sexy Women Seeking Casual Sex Round Rock
But it's a lot worse when they've been thinking all evening there's something special going on when there isn't. So very much this!
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It's really flattering and hot when someone says "I like you. Do you like me? Keeping 'plausible deniability' is saying "Well I like you kinda, but not enough to jou say so.
Hope you took your telepathy pills today. Ambiguity leaves room for fear. Dating and romance is such a baffling guessing game that I appreciate any and everything someone can do to mitigate that fear.
I've Cxn this point over and over in these threads, and it's just not something anyone actually Can i date you.